If it's
green and wiggles, it's biology.
If it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it doesn't work, it's physics.
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A physics
student was hit by a brick falling from a house.
He fainted, but came to after a while and started
smiling. The onlookers were worried, so they asked
him why the smile. "I just realized how lucky I
am because the kinetic energy is only half m v squared."
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Gravitation can
not be held resposible for people falling in love.
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An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and
a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention
of all times.
The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power
over matter.
The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity
the power over space.
The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave
humanity power over symbols.
The mystic chose the thermos bottle.
"Why a thermos bottle?" the others asked.
"Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter
and cold liquids cold in summer."
"Yes -- so what?"
"Think about it." said the mystic reverently. That
little bottle -- how does it know?"
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A theory is something nobody believes, except
the person who made it. An experiment is something
everybody believes, except the person who made it.
.
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How does the ocean
pay its water bill?
With sand dollars!
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What did one tornado say to the other?
"See you around!"
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What do computers like to eat?
Chips!
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What is the center
of gravity?
V!
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What kind of tree do fingers grow on?
A palm tree!
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What kind of fruit do trees like the most?
Pine-apples! . |
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When is the moon heaviest?
When it's full!
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A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple
of cokes. As she is about to leave, she asks the
waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, "For
you, No Charge!!!"
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A
one molar solution |
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A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going
to the ocean for the first time.
The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by
the waves. He said he wanted to do some research
on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into
the ocean. Obviously he was drowned and never returned.
The biologist said he wanted to do research on the
flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside
the ocean. He too, never returned.
The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards,
wrote the observation, "The physicist and the biologist
are soluble in ocean water".
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