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Christmas Jokes
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Christmas
Post
'A woman went into a post office to buy some stamps
for her Christmas cards. What denomination do you
want ? asked the lady at the counter. 'Good God!'
she replied, Has it come to this? I suppose you'd
better give me twenty Catholic and twenty Presbyterian.
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How do cats great each other at Christmas?
Have a furry merry Christmas
and a Happy Mew Year!
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Who is not hungry
at Christmas?
The turkey.
He's already stuffed!
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What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
Crisp Cringle!
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What do you get if you cross an apple with Christmas
Tree?
A Pine-Apple!
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Christmas Prayers
A few days before Christmas, two young brothers
were spending the night at their grandparent's house.
When it was time to go to bed, and anxious to do
the right thing, they both knelt down to say their
prayers.
Suddenly, the younger one began to do so in a very
loud voice.
"Dear Lord, please ask Santa Claus to bring me a
play-station, a mountain-bike and a telescope."
His older brother leaned over and nudged his brother
and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God
isn't deaf."
"I know" he replied, "But Grandma is!"
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It was the day after Christmas at a church in San
Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking
over the cradle when he noticed that the baby Jesus
was missing from among the figures of the nativity
set. Immediately he turned and went outside and
saw a little boy with a red wagon, and in the wagon
was the figure of the little infant, Jesus. So he
walked up to the boy and said, "Well, where did
you get Him, my fine friend?"
The little boy replied, "I got him from the church."
"And why did you take him?"
The boy said, "Well, about a week before Christmas
I prayed to the little Lord Jesus and I told him
if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas I
would give him a ride around the block in it."
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While working as a mall Santa, I had many children
ask for electric trains. "If you get a train," I
would tell each one, "you know your dad is going
to want to play with it too. Is that okay?"
The usual answer was a quick yes, but after I asked
one boy this question, he became very quiet. Trying
to move the conversation along, I asked what else
he would like Santa to bring him. He promptly replied,
"Another train."
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What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes.
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Two young boys were spending the night at their
grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime,
the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their
prayers when the youngest one began praying at the
top of his lungs.
"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO...
I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger
brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers?
God isn't deaf."
To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma
is!" |
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